I’ve got a manic heart.

It drives me mad

the way it stops and starts,

the way it makes my body jump and twitch.

I hold my breath.

My brain is a thunderstorm.

Lightning rolls down my spine

and out towards my finger tips.

My nerves are fried.

I stay home for days.

Avoid buying groceries and

doing the laundry.

I dry swallow fistfuls of pills

(so my hands don’t shake)

(so my muscles don’t twitch)

(so my lips don’t split)

(so my joints don’t ache)

(so my face doesn’t crack).

I can’t hear anything but the ringing in my ears.